What Happens in Couples Therapy? A Murwillumbah Therapist Explains
Most couples wait too long to get help — here’s what actually happens when you walk through the door.
You don’t have to be in crisis to start
What a typical session looks like
Every couple is different, but here's the general shape of how sessions work at Seed Psychotherapy:
First session: We talk about what's brought you in, what's been going on, and what you'd each like to be different. There's no pressure to have the answers — just showing up is enough.
Ongoing sessions: We start to look at the patterns between you. Not who said what last Tuesday, but the deeper cycles you keep getting stuck in. Things like: one person pursues while the other withdraws. Or both of you escalate until someone shuts down.
The body piece: Because I work as a somatic therapist, we also pay attention to what's happening physically — tension, breath, posture, nervous system activation. A lot of conflict lives in the body before it becomes words. Learning to notice that can change how you respond to each other in real time.
Common things couples come in for
You don’t need a specific “issue” to start therapy. But if any of these feel familiar, it might be worth having a conversation:
Feeling stuck in the same argument over and over
Emotional distance — living like housemates rather than partners
One or both of you carrying resentment from something that happened
Struggling to communicate without it turning into a fight
Wanting to reconnect but not knowing how
Navigating a big transition — new baby, relocation, career change, loss
What couples therapy is not
It’s not about fixing one person. It’s not about a therapist telling you what to do. And it’s not a place where you “win” the argument with a referee backing you up.
Good couples therapy helps you both feel heard, see the dynamic between you more clearly, and start making different choices — even small ones — that shift things over time.
Ready to have a conversation?
If you’re in Murwillumbah, the Northern Rivers, or the Tweed Valley — or anywhere in Australia via Zoom — get in touch. There’s no obligation and no pressure. Just a starting point.
Lucy Slater is a somatic psychotherapist and counsellor based in Murwillumbah, working with individuals and couples in person and online.